I was 19 and on holiday in Malta when I saw something I have never forgotten. School had just finished, and the children were walking out of the gates and heading straight to the beach. I remember thinking, “I want this for my children.”
I was not making any decisions at 19, but that thought never left me. Years later, when Ed and I were deciding where to raise our own children, the question that mattered most became not where we wanted to live, but how we wanted our children to grow up. Families ask me every week where to live with children, and after more than 15 years helping them move to Spain, I still start with that question, long before anyone opens a property website.
This week, a short version of our family story appeared in The Telegraph. Answering the journalist’s questions took me back to the early days, when Ed and I were travelling and working wherever we could, long before we had children. A newspaper only has room for a few paragraphs, so here is the longer story, and what it taught me about choosing where your family lives.
We Travelled First and Chose Later
I was born in Liverpool, grew up in a small village called Lowton, and left for university in France at 17. I did not really stop moving for about ten years after that. I worked as a travel guide in Gran Canaria, in ski resorts in Andorra and the French Alps, all over Spain and the Spanish islands, and for short spells in Corsica, the USA and the Dominican Republic. I met Ed in Andorra when we were both travelling.
We settled in Fuerteventura, in the Canary Islands. Over the next seven years we got married, bought and sold our first home, set up and sold a snorkelling business, and had our two children.
We already knew what we wanted for them. We wanted a family life where our children could speak languages, spend time outdoors and grow up experiencing a different culture. We never doubted that southern Spain was the right place. But we did not do it overnight. In our interview with Expats Blog, I explained why we finally moved to the mainland:
“After the birth of our second child in Fuerteventura, we decided that mainland Spain offered both ourselves and our children a much better future than the islands.”
Choosing a Town Was Really About Choosing a School
We chose Mijas Pueblo, a white village in the hills above the Costa del Sol. The views were lovely, but that was not the main reason. It was the school. Our children were not going to international schools, so we looked at the local schools first and picked the village second. As I told Expat Arrivals:
“As we never intended for our children to attend international schools, we researched schools before deciding where to live.”
The village gave us plenty more. There was always something happening, and the children’s friends called out to them as we walked around. I described it like this:
“Imagine going to school in a village where you can get stuck behind horses and carriages and donkey taxis … it’s almost a fairy tale for a child!”
School first and home second is still the advice I give families today.
What I Told The Telegraph
The journalist asked why Spain. My answer was not about the weather. It was about what family life in Spain looks like day to day.
“Family is at the heart of everyday life, children are welcome everywhere, people spend more time outdoors, and life feels less centred around work. We weren’t just choosing where we wanted to live; we were choosing how we wanted our children to grow up.”
That is how our days looked too. I taught languages, Ed worked from home and did the childcare, and it was fabulous for the children. We organised our lives around them, and we had lunch together every day.
It Was Not Always Easy, and Spain Is Not Perfect
I do not want to sell you a dream. Spain is not perfect, and it was not always straightforward for us. Even though I speak Spanish fluently, fitting into the village took time. In the Expat Arrivals interview, I said it “has, however, taken a couple of years despite being completely fluent in the language.” What helped was turning up. I helped with school activities whenever I could, and slowly the other parents accepted me.
That is why I said this to The Telegraph, and why I still believe it strongly today:
“Meticulous planning is crucial to a successful move. Mistakes can be very expensive.”
Where to Live With Children: What I Would Tell Any Family Now
Here is what I have learned from our own move and from years of helping other families.
Start With Daily Life, Not the Property
Most families begin with property listings. I would start with a simple question: what will a normal Monday morning look like? Who takes the children to school, how long does it take, and do you need a car? In my guide, Where Is the Best Place to Live in Spain With Children?, I wrote that the families who end up happiest:
“are not the ones who chose the most popular area. They are the ones who chose the area that fits how they live and offers the lifestyle they are looking for.”
Pick the School and the Town Together
In Spain, state school places depend partly on where you are officially registered. That register is called the Padrón, and your town hall keeps it. Each state school serves a set area around it, called its catchment area. If you choose a home first and the school you wanted is outside that area, you may have far fewer options than you expected. As I put it in the same guide:
“School and location need to be decided together, not one after the other.”
Private schools do not use catchment areas, but check how your children will get there each day. Our guide to education in Spain is a good place to start.
Rent First and See It in the Quiet Months
I have said this for years, and I said it to Expats Blog too:
“I always encourage people to rent for at least 12 to 18 months to really experience living, rather than holidaying in Spain.”
A resort town that feels wonderful in August can feel very different in January. Try to picture both. Buying in Spain adds costs of around ten to twelve per cent on top of the price, so a rushed purchase is an expensive mistake.
Think About Your Children’s Ages and Timing
Moving at the wrong age or the wrong time of year can make everything harder. I have warned for years that moving with children aged 10 to 16, while school is compulsory, can be much harder than families expect. In the Expat Arrivals interview, I said:
“Planning the time of your relocation is fundamental to its success.”
My article on when is the best time to move to Spain with children goes into this in more detail. If you are still comparing regions, my guides to the best places to live in southern Spain for families and the best places to live in northern Spain for families cover each area honestly.
Looking Back at That Photograph
Seeing that old family photograph in the paper made us very proud of the life we chose for our children. Our son, Joshua, has recently secured his first “real job” in the UK, thanks in part to being bilingual. There is more to tell on that, and I will share it soon.
I still would not tell you Spain is perfect. There is paperwork, there are slow mornings, and some things take a couple of years to feel normal. But choosing where and how your family lives is one of the biggest decisions you can make, and it deserves proper thought. We made ours carefully, and we know it was the right one for us.
If you would like help working out where to live with children, you can read my book, Moving to Spain with Children, or explore our full guide to moving to Spain with children. If you would like personal support, have a look at our relocation packages. I do not promise to tell you what you want to hear, but I will tell you the truth.
